Who would you be without your story? Who could you become if you gave up the story of who you think you are? Who you think you are is a mere spec of who you really are. You think you are your history, your experiences, your education, your body, your mind……but you are much more!

I discovered through my coach trainings, study, and meditation that I have a body but I am not my body; I have a mind but I am not my mind. As I have become more aware of that, I have noticed that there is an autopilot about my thinking, my speaking and my behavior; a pattern. There is little freedom in that and not much possibility to choose and create something new for my life. I have noticed that I am not thinking but being thought most of the time. Where do all those thoughts come from that run through our heads each day? Experts say our thoughts number in the thousands. And who is doing the breathing? I am rarely aware of breathing unless I am working out or meditating. What all this is pointing to for me is that there is more to me than a body and a life here on the planet.

In some of my training I was introduced to the possibility that there is a human and a divine aspect to each of us, and that that divine aspect holds the key to the big picture of us and our lives and allows us to see the perfection in our circumstances and history. This really freed me up to investigate and to my surprise simply by investigating I was able to make subtle changes in myself and my life that have created a snowball effect.

It is from this context that I have been living my life and the results have been amazing. I no longer struggle with things. Two examples are money or relationships. We are in a recession, I have two businesses, and the industry I get 80% of my income from is down 50%. My 401K is in the toilet. That has been a call to action, to be creative and find other avenues of income within that industry. I no longer struggle with relationships either, weather it be family, friends, or clients. What people think, do, or say about me is no longer personal to me, I accept them and their stuff even though I may not condone their behavior. Doesn’t mean I don’t get upset sometimes, I do, but in a short period of time, usually a few minutes, I am aware of what being upset is costing me and I take appropriate action, even if that is simply letting it go. I have the freedom to do that because I know it is just feelings, thoughts, patterns I am experiencing and not who I am. I am not sure who or what I am but I know I am not those things.

Those are just a few examples of how my life has shifted as I have started to investigate who Darby really is. I have kind of made it a hobby, this investigation. It is not to find out whom I am but to know what I am not and be present in each moment that is my objective with this investigation. My seriousness has dropped away and none of my fears of losing control of my life, my income, my mind, when I started the process have come true. I am in love with my life and with myself and I can’t tell you what a gift that is.

To learn more about Darby Barclay and Integrative Coaching visit http://www.darbybarclay.com.

November 14, 2008
Escondido, Ca
Article for SelfGrowth.com